August 31, 2007
When Musicians Play Interactive Fiction
Leonard Cohen
Manhattan: Taken.
Berlin: Taken.
The Rolling Stones
Satisfaction: That’s fixed in place.
John Lennon
The word ‘imagine’ isn’t in your vocabulary.
The Beach Boys
Rhonda has better things to do.
REM
You’re already standing.
The Talking Heads
This dangerous act would achieve little.
The Velvet Underground
Time passes.
Time passes.
Time passes.
Time passes.
Time passes.
Your man arrives.
Bruce Springsteen
You will have to be more specific about which direction you want to run.
Otis Redding
That’s not something you can sit down on.
The Eagles
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
A sepulchral voice reverberating through the hotel says, “We are closing soon. Adventurers may check out anytime they like.”
August 31st, 2007 at 10:46 pm
The Rolling Stones:
I see no shelter here.
August 31st, 2007 at 10:47 pm
Duke Ellington:
The A-Train is too large to fit in your inventory.
September 1st, 2007 at 1:58 am
Van Halen, or the Pointer Sisters, or Madonna
You jump on the spot, fruitlessly.
Stan Rogers
The passage to the northwest is blocked by heavy ice.
Violent Femmes
You go out the window. Splat!
*** You have died. ***
September 1st, 2007 at 2:27 am
Johnny Horton
You begin the long journey north. You cross the majestic mountains to the valleys far below and mush on through the snow to…
Alaska
The northern lights are a-running wild in the land of the midnight sun. The river is winding, and from all you’ve heard, this is where big nuggets they’re finding. The year is nineteen-one: The rush is on!
September 1st, 2007 at 10:01 am
Harry Nilsson
>put lime in coconut.
You put the lime in the coconut.
>drink
You drink them both together.
>put lime in coconut.
You put the lime in the coconut.
>drink
Then you feel better.
September 1st, 2007 at 10:05 am
Grand Text Auto » When Musicians Play Interactive Fiction
Nick Montfort, Grand Theft Auto:Leonard Cohen Manhattan: Taken. Berlin: Taken….
September 1st, 2007 at 4:32 pm
PINK FLOYD
There is a Wall here. There are some Hammers here.
>climb wall
It’s too slippery.
>go around wall
It’s too wide.
>look wall
The bricks look like you.
>put ear against the wall
Someone’s breaking bottles in the hall.
>play guitar solo
You have become . . . well, you know.
>tear down the wall
What do you want to tear down the wall with?
>hammers
You better RUN.
September 2nd, 2007 at 8:55 pm
JIMI HENDRIX
>stand next to fire
I don’t see a fire here.
>stand next to fire
I don’t see a fire here.
>stand next to fire
Oh, you mean… oh. Gotcha.
>move Rover
Rover moves over.
>unlock door
The key won’t unlock this door. You have a bad bad feeling about this.
>go back way back yonder over the hill
Might as well.
September 3rd, 2007 at 3:25 am
Korn:
Something takes a part of you.
>shout gibberish
That´s not in your vocabulary.
>shout gibberish
That´s not in your vocabulary.
>go
Go where?
Syd Barrett:
You are getting the munchies.
The newt hits! The cockatrice hits! The mordor orc hits!
You hit the goblin!
The Battlemech hits! The manes hits! The incubus hits!
You hit the Pushmepullyu!
September 3rd, 2007 at 5:20 am
There is a thumb here. You are under it.
September 3rd, 2007 at 5:52 pm
Harry Belafonte:
> examine boat
Which boat do you mean?
> examine banana boat
The banana boat is empty. There is a tally-man standing next to the banana boat.
> south
The tally-man blocks your way.
> inventory
You are carrying:
a crate full of bananas
> put bananas on boat
You put a bunch of bananas on the banana boat.
> put bananas on boat
You put a bunch of bananas on the banana boat.
> examine banana boat
There is a banana boat here. On the deck of the banana boat is a stack of bananas.
> examine stack
The stack of bananas is six feet high. There is a black tarantula in the stack.
> examine tarantula
It looks deadly.
> put bananas on boat
You put a bunch of bananas on the banana boat.
> put bananas on boat
You put a bunch of bananas on the banana boat.
> examine stack
The stack of bananas is eight feet high. There is a black tarantula in the stack.
> tally-man, tally me banana
The tally-man looks over your stack of bananas. With a grunt, he unlocks the gate to the south and waves you through.
September 5th, 2007 at 10:27 pm
TRAIN
There is a barrel here.
There is a scraper here.
You smell platinum.
>
September 6th, 2007 at 1:04 pm
David Bowie:
>give cigarette
Time takes a cigarette.
>open mouth
Time puts a cigarette in your mouth. Your knuckles ache.
>pull finger
You pull on your finger.
>pull finger
You pull on another finger. Weren’t you smoking?
>pull cigarette
You pull on your cigarette. The wall-to-wall is calling.
>forget
The wall-to-wall lingers, then you forget about it.
>suicide
You’ll have to be more specific.
>rock n’ roll suicide
September 6th, 2007 at 4:02 pm
Bill Haley and the Comets:
>Shake
Nothing Happens.
>Rattle
Nothing Happens.
>Roll
Whee! That was fun!
Donovan:
> Look
There is a mountain here.
> Climb Mountain
There is no mountain here.
> Look
There is a mountain here.
> Climb Mountain
There is no mountain here.
> Look
There is a mountain here.
> Call Juanita
Aerosmith:
> Look at Dude
He looks like a lady!
The Police:
> Go to Sting
Sting moves away. He looks annoyed.
> Go to Sting
Sting moves away. He looks annoyed.
T-Rex:
> Get on
A gong rings out!
The Bangles:
You are in a donut shop.
> Walk like egyptian
The cops say, “way oh, way oh, way oh, way oh.”
Madness:
You are in a corner pharmacy. There is an old woman behind the counter.
> Buy condoms
The old woman looks confused.
Ace of Base:
It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
> Look at sign
Your eyes open.
Mister Mister
> Take broken wings
Taken.
> Take aviation instruction manual
Taken.
> Escape prison
You have escaped!
September 6th, 2007 at 4:25 pm
BEATLES
>look at the girl with the sun in her eyes
She’s gone.
>take a sad song
The sad song is better now.
>look through the plate glass tulips
You can see how the other half lives.
>say “high”
Low.
>say “why”
I don’t know.
>pick up the bags. get in the limousine.
You are soon away from here.
>lay down all thoughts. surrender to the void.
The void is shining.
September 6th, 2007 at 10:45 pm
[…] he newly launched Play This Thing! pointing to an article on Grand Text Auto titled “When Musicians Play Interactive Fiction“. Basically it& […]
September 6th, 2007 at 11:20 pm
TOM WAITS
There is a donkey here.
There is a phone here.
There is a car here.
>pay
They paint the donkey blue. The phone rings.
>answer the phone
An operator from Istanbul asks if you will accept the charges.
>say “yes”
Your baby is coming home today.
>drive the car
You are dead.
September 7th, 2007 at 6:15 am
(Chumawumba)
Cigarette: Given.
(Mötley Crüe)
The Devil winces. “Keep your voice down, for Heaven’s sake.”
(The Rolling Stones (again))
> look
You see a red door
> paint it black
(Red door) Painted.
> exa door
Black as night. Black as coal.
Time passes.
The sun is blotted from the sky.
September 7th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
[…] e Fiction With apologies to Grand Text Auto’s quite funny When Musicians Play Interac […]
September 7th, 2007 at 1:58 pm
CHUMBAWUMBA:
The bully punches you in the face and you fall to the ground.
>stand up
The bully punches you in the face and you fall to the ground.
>stand up
The bully punches you in the face and you fall to the ground.
>stand up
The bully punches you in the face and you fall to the ground.
>stand up
You see a bartender. “Hello, what can I get for you?”
>ask for whiskey
The bartender hands you a whiskey drink.
>ask for vodka
The bartender hands you a vodka drink.
>ask for beer
The bartender hands you a lager drink.
>ask for something fruity
The bartender hands you a cider drink.
September 7th, 2007 at 7:37 pm
(Men at Work)
Vegemite Sandwich: Taken.
(Journey)
You maintain your belief.
(Jimmy Buffet)
I don’t see any shaker of salt here.
(The Cars)
You dance for a while.
The sky has become lighter. Dawn approaches.
You play. Wheee!!!
The sky has become darker. It is night.
You shake it vigorously, to no effect.
September 10th, 2007 at 11:23 pm
[…] gh the hotel says, “We are closing soon. Adventurers may check out anytime they like.” Grand Text Auto » When Musicians Play Interactive Fiction Th […]
September 11th, 2007 at 12:26 am
Rolling Stones:
You see a red door.
>paint it black
September 11th, 2007 at 7:52 pm
This reminds me of the Napster Error puzzle from the Haystack: http://thehaystack.org/2006/hl3-napstererror.pdf
Also,
Aimee Mann
Me.sav created.
Pet Shop Boys
*Forest*
This is a forest, with trees in all directions. To the east, there appears to be sunlight.
September 12th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
Semisonic:
You see a Jacket here.
> Get Jacket.
You get the jacket, and move toward the exit.
> Go to beginning.
You have found the Beginning’s end.
> Walk home.
Who do you want to take you home?
September 13th, 2007 at 4:05 am
Judas Priest:
>head out
You are standing next to a highway. Here you see a can of spraypaint.
>inv
You have nothing to lose at all
>get spraypaint
Done.
>use spraypaint
You deface the side of the highway onramp.
Suddenly, a bright light shines in your face. A thundering wall of blue and shiny buttons slams into you. Officer O’Malley flings you up against the side of the car and cuffs you. “We gotcha this time, punk!”
Metallica:
Bodies fill the fields.
>wait
Amidst the thunder of artillery, Sarge screams at you. “Back to the front!”
>wait
A vein bulges in Sarge’s neck. “You will do what I say, when I say!”
>inv
You clench your gun, alone.
>say prayers
Who do you wish to pray for?
>include everyone
You pray for everyone. Suddenly, the lights go out.
You hear a noise.
>wait
Your ear discerns slithering noises from underneath your bed and closet. Some of the noises are undoubtedly in your mind.
And just for giggles, Raffi.
A phone rings.
A phone rings.
A phone rings.
A phone rings.
A phone rings.
A phone rings.
A phone rings.
>answer phone
The phone is yellow and shaped like a banana. A voice on the other end says “boop boop de doop de doop”
>compare yellow phone to cell phone
You dig your cell phone out of your pocket. The yellow phone is definitely superior.
September 14th, 2007 at 4:11 pm
(Pet Shop Boys)
You can’t go that way. Visible exits are north, south, and east.
October 18th, 2007 at 10:01 am
[…]
Nick turned Grand Text Auto into a platform for literary gameplay with his post on When Musicians Play Interactive Fiction. Then a recent email query f […]
November 20th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
>WOODY, TAKE ME RIDING IN YOUR CAR CAR
Woody looks at you quizzically.
> ENTER CAR
You are now riding in Woody’s car.
>WOODY, TURN ON THE ENGINE.
The engine, it goes brrrr-brrrrr.
>WOODY, TURN ON THE WIPERS
The wipers, they go swish-swish.
>WOODY, HONK THE HORN
The horn, it goes beep-beep.
>BUCKLE SEATBELT
The seatbelt, it goes click-click.
————————–
>ENTER STORE
Store.
There is a sign on the wall.
You see a clerk.
>I
You are holding Sexy and a receipt.
>EXAMINE SEXY
It really needs to be brought back.
>EXAMINE RECEIPT
It is dated April 23.
>TIME
It is 3:00 PM on May 24.
>GIVE SEXY TO CLERK THEN ASK CLERK ABOUT REFUND
The clerk asks for your receipt.
>GIVE RECEIPT TO CLERK
The clerk reads the receipt, then points to the sign.
>READ SIGN
The sign reads: “Sexy may be brought back for refund within 30 days of purchase.”
>CLERK, DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
The clerk looks you up and down. “I dunno… some douchebag in a fedora?”